Home > Uncategorized > The off-topic comic relief Zimmerman case limerick thread

The off-topic comic relief Zimmerman case limerick thread

I’m in the mood for a little comic relief, and wondering if others feel a similar inclination. So I thought some limericks might be in order. (??)

Two lawyers O’Mara and West
Had a client who wasn’t the best
They tried and they tried
But their guy always lied
In private, “We’re fucked” they confessed.

Contribute your own verse if you feel so inclined. No comments (or literary criticism, positive or negative) in this thread please, just ‘poetry.’

If you want to do Haiku or throw down some iambic pentameter, feel free. Or ‘Mad’/ Weird Al type parody lyrics to the tune of familiar songs. I don’t want to straightjacket anyone’s creativity. 🙂

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  1. racerrodig
    March 14, 2013 at 1:19 PM

    I saw that suspicious young man
    I tried and I tried when he ran
    To follow, pursue I’m “The Man”
    It all fell apart, and I’m just a big fart
    And I know I’ll end up in the can

  2. March 14, 2013 at 5:03 PM

    Whether not DD went to the hossible
    Willis don’t this case is a lossible
    Cause when all’s said and done
    There’s still fact number 1:
    That’s what GZ says just isn’t possible.

  3. March 14, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    Poor innocent MarkO and Shellie
    Were just sitting home watching the telly
    But they lied for their man
    Soon they be in the can
    Sitting next to a nasty new cellie

  4. wassointeresting
    March 14, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    His name was GZ
    “Just mindin’ my beezeneeze
    When outta the blue,”
    He says, “jumped a mad goon!”
    It was plenty dandy
    He had his gun handy
    Never mind he shot
    A kid thru the heart
    Now he’s wonderin’ why
    All the world says “Fry!”

    ———Not Shakespeare

  5. March 14, 2013 at 6:39 PM

    I haven’t written a “limerick” so hope a ditty will do.

    (Written to the music of, ”Oh, dear, what can the matter be“, also known as “Johnny’s so long at the fair”)

    Oh, dear, what can the matter be
    I shot Trayvon and the whole thing blew up at me
    I should be the hero, I’m sure I deserve to be
    ‘Cos I know it was part of “God’s plan”

    One night while patrolling, protecting the colony
    I saw a young hoodie, where I thought he shudna’ be
    To me he looked suspect, despite walking le-e-surely
    I knew it was all in “God’s plan”

    I called the police to inform of the suspect
    But I knew it was useless ‘cos hoodies run fastest
    So I tracked and pursued him right down to my lastest
    What else could I do, t‛was “God’s plan”

    Now Angela Corey’s gone charged me with murder
    And some even say she should’a gone further
    I feel so contraried, can’t stop eating burger
    Not sure this was part of “God’s plan”

    At least Shelly supports me, and so does O’Money
    And Osterman used to, but he’s now acting funny
    He’s written a book telling more lies than any
    Please, what should I do with “God’s plan”?

    My Treehouse supporters donate me their dollars
    But it just goes to show they’re not studious scholars
    They could drop me tomorrow if they realised who hollers
    Help, what can I do with “God’s plan”?

    If I ever get through this, it won’t be my doing
    I’ve lied and contorted, which should be my ruin
    Seeking justice for Trayvon is not of my wooing
    T’was no fault of mine but “God’s Plan”

    Should I go to prison I’ll start a new hobby
    Mentoring lawyers and burglars and unfaithful hubbies
    I’ll teach them to lie but not to be sloppy
    Or things will go wrong with “God’s plan”

  6. March 15, 2013 at 1:57 AM

    There once was a man,
    a failure in life,
    who took on an unemployed wife.
    He bought a gun,
    and went on the run,
    and now their lives are filled with strife.
    She asked “George! Why did you kill that kid?”
    He said he couldn’t explain why he did,
    but had the cops shoot,
    a husband she would have not,
    so they went to the hotel and hid.

  7. nan11
    March 15, 2013 at 12:20 PM

    A shot rang out, the child was black,
    Hoodies up for the child, justice would lack.

    The man with the gun, the gunner, was white,
    The racists took charge, this was in plain sight.

    As the end draws near, will justice prevail?
    Or again will the past, succeed only to fail.

    J4T

  8. March 19, 2013 at 4:30 PM

    They thought Mr. Crump used his voodoo
    To make the young DeeDee say doo-doo
    They want him deposed
    But the judge was opposed
    Now there’s nothing in court for them to do

  9. March 21, 2013 at 9:16 AM

    This OS reporter Rene
    Spins all of her stories Z’s way
    I can’t figure why
    She sides with this guy
    Think maybe they rolled in the hay?

    • March 29, 2013 at 7:33 PM

      Previous evidence shows, apart from Shellie (so far) those who’ve rolled in the hay with GZ tend to be not siding with him. >:)

  10. leander22
    March 21, 2013 at 7:01 PM

    Whonoze, unfortunately my head is empty. How about a Koan?

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